My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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