Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
