when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
