EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Come on in and take your pants off
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