yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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