Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
