do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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