Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
