there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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