yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
