This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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