i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
