i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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