she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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