just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
