Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
