I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
