New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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