kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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