I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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