She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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