tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
