I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i dont even know how to be here
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
