I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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