there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
