you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
