considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
