I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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