Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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