i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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