Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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