my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
