i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
