We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We left the knife in your bed.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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