I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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