I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
