just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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