dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
