the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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