Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
