awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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