Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
