I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
