Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
