i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
