i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
