Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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