with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
