return my video game
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
