Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
